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In this video men's style, grooming, fitness and lifestyle expert, Aaron Marino of http://www.iamalpham.com http://www.aaronmarino.com and http://www.peteandpedro.com, talks about sex, virginity and confidence.
So, the other day Alpha got an email from an 18 year old virgin whose confidence is being affected because he thinks that women aren't going to be interested due to his lack of sexual experience.
Alpha issues a disclaimer that he's not recommending premarital sex and not a sex or relationship expert. He just has had an applicable experience.
Alpha tells his story about his virginity and how he first had sex which was uneventful and a disappointment. He regretted it because he wished it was with someone he cared about. He also talks about society, social media, and how sex is portrayed currently. He thinks that sex should not be shared casually. It's special and should be shared with someone you love.
Your virginity is not something that you lose. It's a gift you give away-- and you can only give it away one time! You don't need to worry about what others are doing or reporting on social media. Having sex doesn't make you cool. Let it happen naturally. When it happens, it happens. In the meantime, build yourself to the best person you can. Sex can have lots of repercussions. And if someone doesn't want to date you because you are a virgin or you want to remain a virgin, they aren't worthy of your gift
Holy shit, that story is literally my story but with a twist, a friend of mine proposed to me to lose our virginities, of course driven by desesperation I said yes but after a while I reflected on it and I pulled out of the offer
unless he's 21+, he shouldn't sweat being a virgin. i remember when i was 16/17 and was still a virgin and thinking that i was a loser and "missing out". eventually when i was 18, right before i graduated high school, my virginity was gone. now that i look back, i realize how pointless it was to think that i was "missing out" because i was a virgin.
I'm 22 years old still a virgin no gf and even French kiss.. and getting more desperate each day I think about it more like I must brake that myth, and also stopped watching porn in a frequent way as it no longer does much for me. unfortunately had some opportunities I apparently missed because of myself mostly, and there were 3 times I definitely could have it done. Just to clear out I'm at least average and above guy.
The 3 recent times I remember I was really close were when I was 21 Dec17-Feb18.
First case met a girl through a dating group a female friend of mine opened, started to have a chat with some average or less but cute girl, we had many similarities and common hobbies and ideas and much laugh and chemistry, and than *she* finally asked to hangout less than a week or two we started chatting, we agreed to meet to eat something restaurant etc when it was Christmas Sunday and a raining eve', I planned to meet her in a more romantic place for the holiday with tree and leds but sadly the weather and her light clothing couldn't allow it so we settle for an Italian restaurant she suggested quite simple in fact. We had to go back to bases the day after as we're in a conscription country. Finally after some boring chat which felt like a job interview both because of me and her were insecure and out of subjects after sometime so it went a bit too official serious dry for me (alpha m. you should do a vid about the approach to a girl in a bar ideas for opening sentences as an excuse which are logical and than how to keep the conversation going without it become too formal and serious..).
Anyways, we got up I insisted paying ofc and we went walking to accompany her back home. In the way she was shivering as it was cold as she worn only two layers and thin sweater I guess to impress.. and I was much more dressed with a rain coat and a night sweater so I couldn't not lending her my coat, and she was shy, so I put it on her like in the movies and because it was my first formal date I thought of how I could get it to the intimate level rather than a Friendzone as it happened usually so I tried a test while putting the coat on her I really gently and slow did it with my hand slowly holding her waist to see if there's any reaction and she even had an excuse because of the cold so both of us could use it as an uncommitted thing. And nothing.. Just felt embarrassed later. When we got to her building entrance which was her grandma apartment which she came to especially for the date eve' from her far house with a prepared case to stay the night after the day-work..
She was tired and wasn't thought of inviting me up to her grandma flat which maybe wasn't even home in the time as of privacy maybe or because it was a first date. Before I met her in the evening I got before the time we set to a shop to buy us two santa hats for that thing I planned to go to the church area which was more romantic but due to the weather and that it was far for walking from where we met so we both agreed to give up on it.
So when I was under her building we spoke a little and we're both shy, eventually we hugged like a friendly hugh and I gave her the santa hat as a surprise ending which was a special fancy one.
She was flattered and liked it and said that "usually men brings flowers but that is more special (="
and yes flowers feel to me too much old fashion especially for our age (she was a year younger than me) and I wanted it to be something special (we're not Christians so for us it's not something common and we were both nerd-like).
Finally we took selfies together and we went each one on his way..
At first I was proud I at least put on a good effort and arrangement and went pretty smooth as for my standards but I was disappointed it didn't turned to something intimate. I than felt that it was maybe wrong that I put my hand gently on her waist and maybe she was a virgin too and in dates, the problem is at that time I was even more tense about getting done with the virginity thing as friends too started moving from a relationship to another (some of them) so perhaps I didn't need to except something in a first date.
Than second mistake and unfortunate thing happened, I listened to some friends saying don't push it too much on her or she will be frightened off and let her to seek you out a bit as you tried to make a move and let her wait a bit and to let her contact back first. We eventually started to talk again until I reached a really tough time at loaded at work with work and trouble so I didn't have time to put on to the chatting and to what I write and secondly I felt like it's a too big investment as she didn't returned any clue as she seen any potential for an intimate connection or relationship in the future, so I than spent less time talking to her from each time until she asked and I told her what I was going through and frankly I also knew I wasn't any longer in a point of committing myself to a relationship or until it will happen. Eventually I think she thought it was an excuse and with time we talked less and less.
Than some weeks after when I with my stupidity wrote a Sexuall joke in that group without thinking as a laugh intended between mates, me and the gf who opened the group started talking and she was a bit angry even that it was a joke and after a long chat when things cooled down she told me a very sad thing, "a girl in the group told me that you started something and left it" like she was surprised and confused and disappointed as well. Than I was wondering that how she didn't notice I didn't receive any single feedback or will from her to all the clues I tried to pass to her.. and with it blaming myself for not waiting a bit more to give her time as I was tense on a private problem and that I have listened to my stupid materialistic friends partly as I was texting long messages in the past in general to show gratitude and inspiration to the other person but almost too much but still in a reasonable amount.
So there it is guys, the tense of losing my virginity partly influenced the block road we came by except things that weren't in my control in my job which were in a bad timing.
Second and third times I almost got it were cheap and unworthy..
The next time was in new year's eve' of 2018, an Ex gf of my mate was around set near me and after some words started to feel my shoulder while I chatted her ex bf which was my mate in whatsapp telling him the situation and he said like go for it, and than I thought to myself couple of things, one she's a friend ex and it's a bit desperate to lose my virginity to her as second to my mate (she wasn't even his first and he said she was by far his worst in a desperate period he had). Second, she was a bit full, wide little fat and had like rabbit two front teeth like looney tunes, thirdly she was with many guys so I didn't want to get std even with condom and the fact that many went with her.. so I sort of politely ignored her while speaking to other ppl and mates in the table and than she passed on to some nerdy clown who got to kiss her for the midnight of new year and I spent it with some gay mate that is a friend of us, it was a sad ending to the evening but at least I had another female close friend to drink and have a laugh with which is two years younger than me and already been with some guys or at least flirting them with her mouth =P
So later on we took a taxi and I somehow find myself going in a taxi with a thug I payed his part cause he didn't have money and I even stop in the way to get cash from the atm and the taxi waited and he couldn't, apparently owe to many other friends and acquaintances including the girls, zero dignity charlatan thief who chases up skirts and being toady. Eventually also threatened me in chat after I tried to contact him via a the phone number he gave me was a two faces guy. Anyway in the taxi in the back in my left the same girl ex of my mate set with the other guy which wasn't bad, anyway they were kissing and went to his house later I guess.. and we tried to split the cash on the taxi fairly so eventually I paid for myself and the thug which any of us suspected and he tries to hunt nerd girls who most won't getting near him.
So some part of me felt a miss but again I took the decision.
Third time a month after I reached my scheduled release from the army I went to celebrate at first eve' by myself cause no one was available at that time. And than I met in the bars Street by surprise a close female friend of mine which recently became a gf relationship with a mate who also was just her friend and an apartment partner with her before that and he was also Virgin and two years older than me.
Another test from God as you could see it, we at first went out to drink and celebrate and she's a good drinker couldn't lose control easily as she's russian and when I was relatively drunk she started touching my upper leg which felt good can't denied and we took selfies with my phone and in some she was getting close with her tongue to my ears and than maybe as a test or to make our friend jealous or for her own satisfaction or as a safety thing she invited me to stay over in her flat to rest cause we were drunk while my friend is not home in the morning he's in a guarding shift in a high school at the time. I tried to refuse politely over and over again until she gave up and I said I'll drink water eat something and be fine on my own, and on our way back because I felt bad I suggested we pay him a visit so it will look normal (I couldn't do it to a friend and even a stranger to help a woman cheat and even if I didn't care I did my 1+1 that he will turned up with a gun.. LOL).
After a whole night and some hrs in the morning I arrived home after falling asleep in the bus and miss my stop two times and almost fainted and puke until some fluids got into my blood system and had some missed calls from my poor worrying mother which I answered the second I woke up (I never puke from alcohol as I always drank responsibly without mixing like my father told me and that was one of the craziest insane out of control nights I had but still controlled my actions and remember everything, I prefer control even with trusted friends).
And that's short busy period of about two months in the winter which I had more action than most of my life regarding promised chances to finally get laid.
Today I believe in good healthy places to meet but I barely find opportunities since army and college are over and I'm now more independent and preparing for Uni for electronics computers engineering after I completed Hnd in Electronics before the army.
I feel a bit lost/curst and sometimes too nice and I'm not ignorant any longer and grown up a bit, but still desperate as to when I'll have my time as almost a year have passed since and I'm almost 22.5 now. I'm more sophisticated and nice than most of my friends and surely the nicest but sometimes I feel that all the effort works against me.
For now I'm in lack of opportunities and hate to pickup in bars as it's mostly pointless and in high-school and college most were in a relationship or Friendzone, since than I'm preparing grades for uni and started taking care of things I neglected in the past and also including working out routinely 4 times a week, every two days, starting to see some small progress results.
Alpha m. I really hope you seeing this message and I presume you could learn some things or two on me from the stories I detailed and the good things and mistakes I did hopefully to turn that silly issue to a simple thing as it should be.
Goodluck to all the other virgins out there as relationship virgins as well, don't lose hope and don't forget that tense and desperation or comparing yourself to your friends which is important until a certain point only works against you and your game. And make the time passed worth it by finding a worthy partner and hopefully true love which will feel much different and better as I heard from a mate, your constant sex partner is the best sex and when replacing partners it became less worthy even if you find it hard to believe and it's not only about being a stud and getting laid and also std.. , it's the quality of the person that determines.
Let's all brake that myth each person in his time in a good timing hopefully and good luck to you all and don't forget to have a safe sex, and try to find a virgin girl too if possible (not only the ugly there's some gorgeous quality ones who decided to wait for worthy one).
GL M8's! Be your best version of an Alpha m.
I disagree with this entirely. Sex is fun. The more you have, the better at it you become. The better at it you become, the more fun it becomes and the more partners you can retain. I like alpha, but all this shit he's talking about "it's a gift" and sex is meant to be had with someone special...spoken like a non-alpha. That's some la-la land shit and it's not the real world. Don't get me wrong, there is such a thing as meaningful, passionate sex with someone you love. And that's amazing. But that's not going to be everybody you meet. If you wait for that you'll be having very little sex in your life and, frankly, by the time you find that person, you'll be so inexperienced that, if they're a girl, they'll probably be sexually unsatisfied and leave you. Have your sex. Have your fun. There's nothing wrong with it.
Dayum I feel like all slutty now that I lost my V to the friend of my friend in a ONS, I mean what's wrong with shagging everything you deem attractive and willing so that you can build up your skills... for the special one.
In all seriousness though the way you delivered the speech could not have been any more alpha!
I'm 16 almost 17 never had a gf yet.
I'm average looking, neither very pretty nor very ugly. I'm going to the gym since almost one year and bros in my class are noticing it.
The problem i have is character, i rarely go out, i'm more confortable around guys and in general i'm not interesting enough.
I speak only when i need to and unless you ask me about school things or fitness i don't have much to say. I like to watch and listening to other people sometimes.
On top of that i really don't understand my feelings, i mean i feel attraction but nothing more, it's like i've refused to think i can love at this point.
I've had a couple of "crushes" but never confessed or tried to get with a girl.
Probably no one cares but i just wanted to point it out so you can know someone is in a worse situation than you lol
23 and never had a girlfriend. And now? I don't care about women or sex in general. Personally we're somewhat alike: Rarely go out, not interested, silent until asked.
Where we are different are feelings. I don't care about feelings nor have any (like "love") in my opinion. I get a good amound of attention but I just don't care and focus on my doing.
My advice for you: Get good / excelent in something and the rest will come to you. It's on the same page as passion. (Only if you want to attract that attention).
I wouldn't say I'm in a worse situation as in I can't do anything about it. I chose it and so you can choose to get a girlfriend. You just need to modify your expectations.
Worried, please, 18 please. Old school (way) Marriage is the best, and then jiggy with it. Life has changed! Loosing your Virginity is like giving away your house, your precious jewel, save your Virginity it's your Temple. You should be proud of having someone Special (Virgin) better! It's disgusting having sex with people that you know are not worthy of you! So think before you act! Good video by the way, he said it like it is!
Big facts, I’m 15 and I lost my virginity, I lost it when I was 14 because social media was so “sex is so good” and all my friends have had sex so I did the same thing I hooked up with a girl who I knew would do it and I did it and do I regret it now because it wasn’t special at all and honestly I’m not proud of it because it wasn’t with somebody who I liked it was with somebody I knew would do it... to all of you who are still virgins it’s not something to be ashamed of it’s something special that you should keep until you find that someone who is just as special
I'm 19 and a virgin. I used to get annoyed when people mocked me for my "virginity", now IDC. A lot of my friends tell me I should just go hookup with a random girl and have sex but I don't want to. I have no interest in casual sex, I would prefer to have it with someone who I've been in a relationship with. You should never feel pressure into having sex if you don't feel ready.
I'm 16 and a virgin. where I come from the average age of virginity loss is around 14. To me, that's far, far too young. And here's the fact that correlates with every single one who has lost it- They regretted it... instantaneously. I decided I'm not going to be one of them and to be honest, never really made an effort with the females so I had no chance anyway. well i say that but the girls in my city give you sex after the first week of talking to them. And the sad fact is I'm not joking. There's a few good one's who have self respect but they are few and far between.
There is a lot more on what I could say about my generation but since this video topic is on sex I'll keep it close to that.
The youngest age I personally know of was in year 7 to you Americans it's the first year after primary so around 12 years old. and that was her age 12 and her "Boyfriend" was 13.
One girl wants me to f her but we know each other since 9-10 years and im 17 still a virgin but i dont know if i want to f her... bcs it will me weird af... any tips i rly want to lose it... give me some tips guys i dont know what to do
Mate, I know this video is old, but hopefully you're readin this. This is amazing, you are too, proper old school, throway sex is crap, dirty, and unsafe, it's meant to be shared with someone you have feelings for. I'm sure you really helped this guy out. Peace.
There are little kids having sex, teenagers only care about 3 things and it shows on social media SEX, DRUGS, And VIOLENCE. Girls are becoming famous by dancing half naked, and beating there mothers. Men are getting famous by doing drugs basically society has gotten immoral it’s really heart breaking it makes me question putting children of my own threw it. I’ve promised myself that I will only give my virginity to someone I love and or care about.
i put the "HOLY FUCKING THOT" in and around the word HO.. just image if id add the two T's to Ho lmao
i sex like gamers play video games... lmao
butt lets not judge any ones sexual behavior or lack thereof... ^3^ just remember not every one believes in "monogamy" im poly amorous myself..
im definitely more of a Sith then a Jedi...lol xD starwars fans should understand this and what i mean.. lol
sex is important.. and it can be mentality healthy for you in various ways.. so it is important... butt it also shouldn't be an addiction and definitely not something that controls ur life regardless if ur getting or not getting it..
respect goes both ways... highly promiscuous people need to respect virgins and virgins need to respect highly promiscuous people... and everything in between.. people today are too concerned about other peoples sexual habits thus quick to judge and condemn... people like to judge to validate and justify their own behaviors by mocking or insulting someone who's sexual behavior is not in line with their own... xb
example: virgins or people that are highly monogamous always pull the "slut" card for people like me cause we just get tons of sex and easily butt at the same time people like me (not me personally) judge virgins and treat them as if something is wrong with them calling them jealous and shit... xb
Hey I’m 15 I have never dated or even done any of those fake 12 year old dating stuff I have been asked out may times but always say no I am just watching lots of stuff so I will be ready if I ever want to date prob will
Your virginity is NOT something you LOSE, it's something you GIVE AWAY. Give to the right woman at the right time, and never just do it just so you can say you're not a virgin anymore - that's weak. Be strong. Women want a man who is strong, not a boy who has to do something just because he thinks everybody's doing it.
Was interesting to watch tbh, Im 22 and still a v, most of the girls I know kinda arent also most of the times I talked to guys and this came up they just stoped talking to me (recent one happened today), or have such a shoked reaction "are U reAlly srs thAt u stiLl r one?" 😤...Im not one to give into peer pression or "do it to get over with it" , be it boys or girls when this comes up I get a vibe from them that I should be ashamed of this somehow😕
I felt kind of pressured to lose mine before I was 18. I have an older brother and he lost his at 17 so when my birthday was in a couple of weeks I lost it with a girl I didn't know at a house party and never saw again. Before everyone was on social media so never actually got her last name. These days I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it.
Just reading through the comments further proves how ass backwards we are as a society...everybody always says "I'm STILL a virgin.", as if it's something bad, when it absolutely is not...just say I AM a virgin!
Wow...what a beautiful video here, such a great message, it's literally exactly what I've been saying for years...our whole society is so ass backwards about too many important things.
Please do a updated/longer video about this topic.
This alpha makes me feel so much better about being a virgin im 17 almost 18 I dont like being a virgin it has consumed me and I try to not let it get to me this has helped and i thank you for sharing your opinion and your words its very kind of you and it makes me feel much better
First change ur way of thinking about it, get rid of the awful myth that it's something u "lose" ...like he said in the video, it is NOT something u "lose", it's a very special gift to be GIVEN.
Now it can be completely wasted, like so many have done and completely regret, I'm older then u and I'm not wasting mine.
At 14, if they're pressuring u that much for something like this, at too young of a age anyway, trust me they are NOT ur true friends...and they are not worthy of ur concern...be true to yourself.
Im 23 and still a virgin....... no joke.
Im getting married next year and Ive been just waiting for that day to make it the best experiance of my life and given the fact that Im with a girl raised in Christianity and all that good stuff for both of us it will be our first time and we enjoy the idea of learning together as we go.
I'm 19 years old virgin. Not because I can't find that "special" girl, but because I can't find a girl to have sex with at all. I didn't even get my first kiss. But, it's OK. I'm just a person with issues, lots of them. So, that's why I'm here on this channel. To help myself to be fixed.
IN all honestly I lost mine this year. I'm 14, and out of everything i regret it, mainly because i was peer pressured into getting drunk with this girl, and to this day it still kinda messes me up, because i feel like i need it. if any advice from me would be taken i would say wait until you're 16.
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