In this video, I share some useful tips and advice for the wedding night or the 'first night' between a married couple.
The wedding night is one of the most anticipated nights of a Muslim person's life. I know this may sound over-dramatic, but imagine that the wedding night is the first time a Muslim male or female is officially "allowed" to be alone with someone of the opposite gender, without the presence of a guardian.
With this in mind, it is important to share some advice for newly-weds, who may be terrified at the thought of being alone with their husband or wife for the first time.
It is entirely up to the couple whether they choose to have sex on the wedding night or after a few nights once they are a little more familiar with each other and feel comfortable to take things further. Also, the bride may be on her period, which would allow the couple the perfect opportunity to get to know each other better without the pressure of sex hanging over them.
It is important to remember that there is no rush and the newly married couple will have the rest of their lives to get to know each other. Once both parties are comfortable, ready and consent to taking things further, they should both make an effort to make the "first night" as memorable as possible.
Although it is completely normal and natural to feel nervous/anxious about the first time, the butterflies should not be allowed to take over. The excitement should be greater than the fear. The couple chose to be together, and the wedding night will be a night that they will remember for the rest of their lives. The last thing they want is to feel so nervous that they cannot actually enjoy their first time together.
To make the wedding night a wonderful, memorable experience for your spouse, you must get to know what he/she likes. What are his/her favourite colours and fabrics? What type of lingerie does he like? Does she like flowers or chocolates? Candles or fairy lights? The more you pay attention to the little details and make the extra effort, the more it will be appreciated by your spouse. Prepare the bedroom to please your spouse and make him/her feel as comfortable and relaxed as possible.
It is essential to look and smell good on your first night together, as you want to be as pleasing to your spouse as possible. Don't forget, most of you have been building up to this day for the majority of your adult (and even teenage) life. It is not just the women who need to smell good, men should also smell great and not overpower their new brides with nervous sweat :)
Men and women should ensure that their body hair is taken care of, including the armpits and private parts, according to Islamic tradition. Cleanliness is appealing!
Smell can be an extremely sensuous. Use a nice shampoo and make your hair feel, look and smell as gorgeous as it can, as this will really overpower all of your spouse's senses and he/she will be overwhelmed :)
One of the main fears for the new bride in particular is that her husband will hate her body. As females we can struggle with body confidence and some of us worry that our husbands will compare us to the perfect females that they see on the TV or social media. Unless you have been walking around in multiple layers of bin bags, your new husband should have a rough idea about your body shape and will not expect you to be "perfect" naked. Our husbands are generally more forgiving of our imperfections than we are of our own imperfections. If you are extremely conscious of your body, wear lingerie that is more forgiving, like teddy or babydoll nightwear.
The Muslim couple should pray together on the first night, with the husband leading the wife in prayer. What a beautiful way to start the first night of the rest of their lives in'sha'Allah :) Islam is a way of life for Muslims, which it should be on the wedding night as any other time in our lives.
Before intercourse, the Muslim couple must recite the following du'a/supplication to seek protection from the evil amongst the unseen during their intimacy: bismillaah - allaahumma jannibnash-shayṭaana, wa jannibish-shayṭaana maa razaqtanaa
Without actually describing the act of intercourse, make sure that you take it easy and make the act as comfortable as possible, particularly for the bride. Use massage oils/gels to enhance enjoyment and make things easier as it is sometimes painful and not always straightforward, especially the first time.
Make sure you have an extra set of bed covers, especially if you live with extended family as that will save you embarrassment.
After intercourse, you cannot pray salah until you have performed ghusl or the cleansing bath. It is permissible to delay the ghusl just before the dawn/fajr prayer, which would again save you embarrassment and hassle
Keep some mints under your pillow to avoid breathing morning breath into your spouse's face. He/she will need time to get used to it :)
Please Stop It.
Your given advice that you don’t know much about yourself. Firstly, shaving your armpits every 40 days. Your husband must be a right bushy lad. You shave once the hair is longer then a average rice grain. Secondly once you have done IT (I call in sexual intercourse or having sex) you need to do ghusal, again before doing IT again. Also can you stop with the rubbish that men when do IT no matter what. We ain’t animals, we have to like the person before we do IT. So please do some research before giving out false information.
I got married to my very own Habibi and Soul mate after 3 years in this Dunya to a loving tiny sincere Beautiful woman back in March 2018 in Mohammedia Morocco and we now wait til the day she finally enters our new home together as husband and wife here in the UK as her Visa as now been approved and collected. My wife is due here at the end of the month after waiting for over 6 months since marrying earlier this year.
My advice to you fellas with a new wife when on that special blessed night, is to really take of her genuinely by making the effort to clean your bed room and have a made up lovely bed presented to her as she enters the room itself, I recommend everything is colored as white as you can possibly achieve, from the new sheets to quilts and candles too lit all around the room with some lush incense possibly Red roses under her feet as she walks about.
Also have a lovely white nightie or alluring dress with bra panties etc so she can dress up for this Important event which is only moments away as she attempts to look her best for your own eyes only and hers too if she wishes for some personal photos tastefully done with a fun Husband and Wife modelling fun game. But maybe also help to dress her up to even suggest the colours to her make up, But make sure to make it last as long as you surely can before the actual love making begins.
Especially if she is pure a virgin as mine is, as she will be so insecure and frightened so it very important not to rush her and take your time make it a wonderful experience and adventure and as the sister suggested on this video, lead a sincere pray together side by side, make sure Wudu is completed correctly unhurried, shower maybe each other off with some beautiful smelling oils and soaps with the essentials of fruit flavored shampoos and body scrub, then simply help dry each other off to ease the shyness and any insecurities before away from her mind.
Take care of your new found wife and yourself, seduction performed naturally is both satisfying for her and also very romantic and something to always remember for the both of you. It is a discovery of each others personal tastes likes and wishes which is so important, especially when foreplay and passion becomes heightened between you both, so encourage her to feel calm assure her she is safe protected as you whisper loving compliments in her ear as you take the lead in this beautiful natural moment between man and woman.
It's truly a special personal moment of escapism for the couple engaged in these magical moments so enjoy the time and make it last. Personally as for men shaving their body hair Oh noooooo, this is a Big no no for me as I am a Big cuddly Bear myself lol, it's okay for some of you boy's with your abdominal smooth shiny body's, but for some of us men we prefer to remain warrior types, rough animal like instinct looking even if we have Big cuddly bellies but with me it's a must. And me being a hairy man with lush soft hairs is my own God given gift from Allah swt as it contributes to the perfumes natural aromas spread out on my huge torso with my body's own essences unique smells, sweats too.
This is the scent of each others recognizable unique identifications and signal tools, especially if in the dark with candle lit warm sparkles and flashes in the room as you both enjoy each others intimate company. Remember guys to whisper to her as you slowly kiss her neck cheeks lips face eyes too as you caress her most sensitive hidden parts, possibly listening to some lovely romantic Nasheeds, or beautiful Surahs from Qur'an. May you will then all experience wonderful love making techniques as well as the most memorable unforgettable magical escapism in a pure mindset natural man and wife coming together as the Angels surround you.
After all it's really a beautiful experience and wonderful tribute to Allah swt for this life our creator has surely gifted us with, the joining of man and woman to complete and Equal our Deen and form the yolk to our planned loving long lasting Marriage as the Sunaah commands us all to do, But not for just a temporary moment to ease our own hidden desires with a female, But for the true Intentions of our wives for life In Shaa Allah, Ameen.
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I love your personality it's so chirpy. Brothers need to remember to NOT act like the wedding night is their last night and last chance to have sex. Using olive oil as lubricant makes it less painful for her.
This is a video perpetuating patriarchy. This is so non inclusive. The guy should do all the guy things, get her flowers. What even woman? Can't believe she is getting so much appreciation for a crap video like this.
This was in my recommended page???: Did a muslim wommen just say: "getting it on" Wait i have to rewind and listen to it one more time.....OMG she did. ....You and youre husban must have a god marriage when you as a Muslim women can talk about this on youtube... I wish you both the best.
wow I'm not for this religion but I found this interesting, there are people who doesn't find strange arranged marriages some of it work out, and I guess this would be helpful for some girls in this situations, just respect others believes .
Just some extra tips...My Ustaz said, during the wedding night ask your spouse to recite the shahadah dan ask her a little bit of the basics in Islam. Then ask her if she is having her day week off or not(period).... if not then, both of u pray 2 rakaat of solat nikah.Then both of you make sujud syukur to allah and thank allah because not everyone has the chance to get married. Then husband make dua for wifey’s goodness and vice-versa. Wallahualam...
~ DISCLAIMER TO PEOPLE WHO ARE UNFAMILIAR WITH THIS CULTURE~
Hi guys! Just a short notice— clearly, this video doesn’t hide that the bride and groom don’t know each other before the marriage. Yes, this is how it is supposed to be in this ideaology. We believe that the right person comes first, and love comes second. Usually the elders are experienced and seem to know whether or not someone is right for their son/daughter, but the son/daughter can still say no to the marriage. It’s baisically how people got married in the early 1900s and before that. You get to choose from a number of people, and if the other person also agrees and their family’s also agrees, then it goes on. As I’m sure most have heard, when u marry someone, you marry their family as wel. First finding someone that is compatible and checks all of your “boxes”, then falling in love with them. If it doesn’t work out, you can, of course, divorce. In the right way, nothing is forced. If it is forced, they and everyone supporting it is wrong to call themselves Muslim, and they can go straight to hell.
can you do a video about post-marriage friendships?
I have been married for 2 years and my friends (single) back home have really changed and have changed the way they think of me and even hangout with me. they told me that they distanced themselves because they don't think I have time for them anymore..
Just wanna point out that arranged marriages aren't allowed in Islam if the man and woman aren't content with the proposal. People tend to get mixed up between some Arab cultures (where arranged marriages are a tradition) and the sharia law (where arranged marriages are not allowed at all without the permission and acceptance of the man and woman).
I do not understand to whom 'Shamsa' is giving the advice? Muslim girls before getting married are familiar with the nuptial rituals because they know it from their married friends and family members. Aunts and relatives also tell them.. But in the west, they don't need the advice; since they are allowed to have Boyfriends and indulge in sex without formalities. Therefore; have knowledge about sex before marriage. Anyway in their culture virginity is regarded as old fashioned not applicable to modern times.
Stupid video. Stop laughing and be serious. I doubt you laugh like this with your husband.... Flowers and chocolates and smell stupidity. Main should be attitude of husband towards her wife. Husband's character and soul should matter the most for a woman and not flowers and chocolates and smell. I personally prefer sharing thoughts and ideas with each other on the first night. Getting to know each others' beliefs and expectations. Life does not work on flowers and chocolates and smells and looks. Life is all about understanding the hidden cruel facts. Life is not about haha and hihi and huhu. Grow up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The internet is a sea of valuable information of all accumulated human knowledge where we can delve into any subject known to man and learn every single detail about it without leaving our bedrooms. If used properly, we can all become nuclear physicists and create a Utopia of quantum power where the monetary system becomes void because we do have all the knowledge and technology as humans to satisfy all our human needs while preserving the planet’s natural resources and without any wars. It’s all there at our fingertips. But you’re idiots. We are all idiots.
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