In this video, I share some useful tips and advice for the wedding night or the 'first night' between a married couple.
The wedding night is one of the most anticipated nights of a Muslim person's life. I know this may sound over-dramatic, but imagine that the wedding night is the first time a Muslim male or female is officially "allowed" to be alone with someone of the opposite gender, without the presence of a guardian.
With this in mind, it is important to share some advice for newly-weds, who may be terrified at the thought of being alone with their husband or wife for the first time.
It is entirely up to the couple whether they choose to have sex on the wedding night or after a few nights once they are a little more familiar with each other and feel comfortable to take things further. Also, the bride may be on her period, which would allow the couple the perfect opportunity to get to know each other better without the pressure of sex hanging over them.
It is important to remember that there is no rush and the newly married couple will have the rest of their lives to get to know each other. Once both parties are comfortable, ready and consent to taking things further, they should both make an effort to make the "first night" as memorable as possible.
Although it is completely normal and natural to feel nervous/anxious about the first time, the butterflies should not be allowed to take over. The excitement should be greater than the fear. The couple chose to be together, and the wedding night will be a night that they will remember for the rest of their lives. The last thing they want is to feel so nervous that they cannot actually enjoy their first time together.
To make the wedding night a wonderful, memorable experience for your spouse, you must get to know what he/she likes. What are his/her favourite colours and fabrics? What type of lingerie does he like? Does she like flowers or chocolates? Candles or fairy lights? The more you pay attention to the little details and make the extra effort, the more it will be appreciated by your spouse. Prepare the bedroom to please your spouse and make him/her feel as comfortable and relaxed as possible.
It is essential to look and smell good on your first night together, as you want to be as pleasing to your spouse as possible. Don't forget, most of you have been building up to this day for the majority of your adult (and even teenage) life. It is not just the women who need to smell good, men should also smell great and not overpower their new brides with nervous sweat :)
Men and women should ensure that their body hair is taken care of, including the armpits and private parts, according to Islamic tradition. Cleanliness is appealing!
Smell can be an extremely sensuous. Use a nice shampoo and make your hair feel, look and smell as gorgeous as it can, as this will really overpower all of your spouse's senses and he/she will be overwhelmed :)
One of the main fears for the new bride in particular is that her husband will hate her body. As females we can struggle with body confidence and some of us worry that our husbands will compare us to the perfect females that they see on the TV or social media. Unless you have been walking around in multiple layers of bin bags, your new husband should have a rough idea about your body shape and will not expect you to be "perfect" naked. Our husbands are generally more forgiving of our imperfections than we are of our own imperfections. If you are extremely conscious of your body, wear lingerie that is more forgiving, like teddy or babydoll nightwear.
The Muslim couple should pray together on the first night, with the husband leading the wife in prayer. What a beautiful way to start the first night of the rest of their lives in'sha'Allah :) Islam is a way of life for Muslims, which it should be on the wedding night as any other time in our lives.
Before intercourse, the Muslim couple must recite the following du'a/supplication to seek protection from the evil amongst the unseen during their intimacy: bismillaah - allaahumma jannibnash-shayṭaana, wa jannibish-shayṭaana maa razaqtanaa
Without actually describing the act of intercourse, make sure that you take it easy and make the act as comfortable as possible, particularly for the bride. Use massage oils/gels to enhance enjoyment and make things easier as it is sometimes painful and not always straightforward, especially the first time.
Make sure you have an extra set of bed covers, especially if you live with extended family as that will save you embarrassment.
After intercourse, you cannot pray salah until you have performed ghusl or the cleansing bath. It is permissible to delay the ghusl just before the dawn/fajr prayer, which would again save you embarrassment and hassle
Keep some mints under your pillow to avoid breathing morning breath into your spouse's face. He/she will need time to get used to it :)
Spoilers, no actual advice here boys.
Just stuff you already know make sure to take care of hygiene, make her comfortable if you are woman don't be worried about small things that are weird with your body because guy is too much of horny monkey to care.
Love you Shamss for talking about weeding night. It's so refreshing to hear from a women perspective..especially for some of us who come from communities that make it impossible to talk or discuss about intimacy pre-marriage. It has become such a taboo topic in some cultures to freely discuss these topics with ones parent. Thanks for being so open and may this be helpful for married couples. And may Allah (swth) bless you and your family with success in this life and here after.
To be honest it hunk this video is really playing on the romantic ideal first time. Even on a wedding night, it doesn’t go down like this. Chocolate and flowers before sex? Keep them for another time, just spend some time cuddling and talking and it will go from there. It’s natural and it will happen naturally when it’s meant to. Don’t feel pressured and don’t rush. Also don’t jump into an ocean without dipping in ur feet. Aka. Try the waters abit before u commit to them, otherwise ur sexual compatibility may not be great. 0 to 100 in one night probly isn’t the best thing, let it be gradual. Also u should really talk about sex, what u both like, what turns you on etc etc.. wayyyyy before u do it... my opinion
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You absolutely do not sound vulgar in any way, whatsoever.
Obviously the delicate nature of the topic you addressed left you concerned about seeming crude/vulgar.
You can relax and let any concern drift away because you handled the subject with tact and sensitivity.
Not the slightest hint of crudeness or vulgarity appeared. Well done.
The First of all man should be very careful and he should not think only about his pleasure. Virgins should be week inside to have pleasure so man should creat very good feeling and be nice for woman. Kissing and nice touching is very important.
Muslim men think they will get 72 virgins in heaven to rape and abuse for eternity. They take what they want any night of the week. Women are second class citizens in Islam. Remember in Islamic countries there are honour killings, female genital mutilation, polygamy, child marriage, unequal rights under the law, etc. Why is this woman lecturing us? No wonder you left living in an Islamic country. Islam is a curse on the world.
The husband should make his wife comfortable as possible. If the husband makes her feel good while he is kissing her he should be be feeling good as well. The women's body has all sorts of places that will turn her on . Her neck her breast and her nipels, don't be ruff go slowly around her nipels , this will turn her on greatly as it will the husband. Place your hand on her leg and go slowly up to her private area and slowly rub your finger around her private area. This will also get her hot as well as you , kissing her as you are doing that . Don't go fast. When the husband go into her he should go slowly and stop when in , stay still for a couple of minutes and just enjoy embracing each other. Slowly go up and down and asking if she is comfortable. That's what men need to understand. It's not about the man at first . It about the two of you.
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu. I’ve watched several of your videos. Masha’Allah what a sweet personality. You sure got some mixed reviews with this didn’t you, Sister? Masha’Allah, you did well in sharing a very awkward topic. It’s taboo in many cultures so it really is nice to see that someone is brave enough to share some information. I come from a mixed marriage (I’m American and my husband is Asian) so I’ve been the one responsible for sharing sensitive information. I completely understand the nervous laughter. It’s not out of disrespect or making light of a serious topic; it can just be a little uncomfortable to discuss.
All of my children are of marrying age so I watched the video to see if it’s something to pass along to my daughter in particular. You really did share some good tips. If anything, the bride (and groom for that matter) could gently ask for or gesture what is needed ... and I love the idea of having a breath mint on hand for the next morning.
You did good Sis. 👍🏻
+Alex Rizo Dear Alexa, I hope you eventually trust a decent and good Muslim who can make you feel happy and safe. Wallahi, it will happen inshAllah. You just have to be open minded and open your heart to it.
Ahh a subject that's not spoke about much. Good job sister. As for maritial affairs you women need to understand, us men couldn't care less about what you look like naked. If he marries you he's already thought about all that. Wheter you like it or not. No guy is going to say yeah to marrying you without actually LIKING AND APPROVING off you. Unless you just got married to keep your parents happy. If that is the case you could find problems but not always. As for the 2 people who liked each other you can't say it will stay the same if you then want to experience things like non muslims. Dirty talk etc. Lots of muslims girls are regular viewers of porn these days. The things I've had said to me has left me flabbergasted
Some women are so stupid, and naive. They make such drama's out of nothing. I'll be honest, and say that 95% of girls have already "done it" before they leave school. So this is nothing new for most women or girls who are going to listen to this. Don't act like your in some Indian drama. Flowers, chocs, is so sleazy. Just ask God for happiness, and good health. Forget all these little stupid things.
Women never grow up, dancing on weddings, acting like minions.
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