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Why You Can Pee Next To Me | Rachel Lucas | TEDxRiNo

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Rachel Lucas dives into the origins of separate public restrooms for men and women, and invites you to join her as she explores their contentious history. Public restrooms are some of the most dangerous places a transgender person can go. Learn how gender identity and expression play a role in the way we think about public restrooms and our safety inside them. As the HR Training & Development Specialist for RANGE Consulting, Rachel Lucas, PHR, has made it her mission to end LGBT workplace discrimination in Colorado. RANGE Consulting is a social enterprise of the GLBT Community Center of Colorado which celebrated its 40th anniversary this year. Rachel’s previous experience with Neiman Marcus and Ernst & Young has informed her work in Human Resources and adult education and training. A passionate supporter and advocate of workplace diversity and inclusion, equal employment rights and protection, and the LGBTQ community, Rachel holds a Bachelor’s of Business Administration degree, the Professional in Human Resources (PHR) designation, and is a member of and volunteers for the Mile High Society for Human Resource Management. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx
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Text Comments (184)
Kal (1 day ago)
There literally are so many reports of trans people attacking women in women’s-only spaces. Check out r/thisneverhappens — it happens at least every other day in the US.
Kal (1 day ago)
Why not offer a third, gender neutral bathroom? Why take away cis women’s safe space?
dvp458 (7 days ago)
Give them a trans restroom or private restrooms
Blackdogsmatter (16 days ago)
Interesting that it’s all about women’s safety...and men behaving badly, but the example you used was two women beating another woman. If you have this rare mental condition I would think you should expect to feel uncomfortable when using a restroom sometimes, just as it may make us feel uncomfortable too. Acceptance is a two way street, if someone disagrees with you, they’re not automatically “phobic” which is also a mental condition.
George Anthony (1 month ago)
Ted talks are bloody awful these days . They're just personal anecdote and opinion.Waste of time.
Gail Gunderson (1 month ago)
Please get to the point. Is this a speach for school that you picked a random topic? Bye.
Arthur Amazons (1 month ago)
I love unisex bathrooms
Arthur Amazons (1 month ago)
this is great and very helpful for me i get that feeling sometimes when I go on my own it can make me a little pee shy
NMYCORNER (1 month ago)
You give me hope that your generation and the ones that follow you will unlock their mind. Take care.
Hermione3 Müller (1 month ago)
i was beaten up in the restroom of my school and never ever used a restroom at school again. it was horrible having to hold it in all day every day and i drank nothing the hole day.
branflakes523 (2 months ago)
When i was young my mom would talked about how the mens bathroom was unsafe because of my age and she wanted me to use the womens bathroom if my brother wasnt there, i didnt oppose of it because i wanted to be safe and unharmed too. After i started to get older i did feel uncomfortable being in the womens bathroom and a small insedent occured when i was like 7 or something which is when i statred to use the mens bathroom. But anyway i went into the girls one and did my business and when i left i saw a woman standing and washing her hands. She turned me and had was slightly shocked that a little boy was in that bathroom but she didnt shoo me out. And i actually said to her that im sorry if im in here but my mom wanted me to go in here because she felt it was safer for me.
jaden ippersiel (3 months ago)
A 3rd bathroom is better
Lexy Malinowski (3 months ago)
Thank you more then you know I feel like crying you my Hero
Elliot Sampson (4 months ago)
Very misleading
Sandrine (4 months ago)
Thank YOUUUUU! 👭💙💚💛❤💜🌈🍺🍻🍷🍹🍸🙌✨🔆💎🔆✨
Candyce Renee (4 months ago)
I think all public places should just have one bathroom for everyone.
Chris Paige (4 months ago)
Trans people report being afraid of going to the bathroom, and that means they're right to be afraid? What % of cisgender people report being afraid of going to the bathroom with trans people? Does that mean they're right too? You can't use this sort of self-reported evidence to prove that these beliefs are reasonable. How many trans people have - in fact - been attacked in a bathroom because they were trans? You need evidence on that issue to prove your point.
George Anthony (1 month ago)
I.m thinking of starting a fan club.
Chris Paige (4 months ago)
We have evidence that witches have existed forever & throughout the world - does that make witches real? Having evidence does not mean that you have reliable evidence. The fact is that the "evidence" for transgenderism is the same as the "evidence" for witchcraft or alien abduction -- lots of self-reporting. That's not really "evidence."
George Anthony (1 month ago)
+Chris Paige Finally! Someone who knows what they are talking about. Thanks
Chris Paige (3 months ago)
Thanks. On Wicca/witches, that wouldn't be scientific evidence. Finally, the brain scans thing is a scam. Basically, some activists (not MDs) looked at a few brain scans of self-identified transgenders & found "difference" - that's not science.. There is no such thing as a male brain or a female brain (other than size (men are generally larger & thus male brains tend to be larger), there's no way to id one from the other using brain scans), so you can't do what this study claimed to do. The "differences", by the way, were consistent with homosexuality & the changes brought on by experience (rather than genes). Transgenders would love to claim "science" proves their theories, but it doesn't & can't. After all, if transgenderism is real, then homosexuality isn't - how could you have a genetic attraction to an invisible, socially-constructed & fluid feeling/sentiment etc.? You couldn't. Either gender is binary & genetically-determined, or homosexuality isn't genetically-determined. If "gender" is like being a Rotarian, then attraction to gender is NOT genetic. I get that everyone wants to be PC, but think it through - these progressive ideas contradict each other. Which one do you want to believe? And why are questions of "science," coming down to what do you "believe"?
AnimeEnTranced (3 months ago)
How about peer reviewed brain scans showing differences in brain microstructure? Also Wicca exist too. They're not any less real than other religions. Got me on the alien abduction thing though.
applecom1de (5 months ago)
Very important topic here!
Andrew Patrick (5 months ago)
Just pretend you are in India and take a wiz or defecate outdoors so everyone can enjoy the true essence of YOU!
InfinityBowman (5 months ago)
how do these people even realize someone is trans when they r in the stall?? like wtf
eden madison (5 months ago)
The entire idea of segregated bathrooms have always confused me, when I was a little girl my dad always took me to the men’s room when I needed to pee so he could wait right outside the stall and help if I needed anything. No one ever blinked an eye at that and as I grew up and realised it was such a big deal to people I was shocked.
Bob Channell (6 months ago)
Some say the equal rights amendment would have led to women being drafted into the armed services along with them men. Do you think this would be true? If so, I think that would be enough to justify not passing it. In my opinion anyway.
I have 5 kids ... every day we peed right next to each other , up until each kid was about 10 or 11.
Blackbird0987 (6 months ago)
For me this is so strange, I'm a ciswoman, but when there is a long line in the womans bathroom I go to the mens bathroom. No problem there, if it was reversed I wouldn't realy mind either. Surprised? Maby. But not fearful. I never heard of the fear of a man in the womans bathroom in the Netherlands but maybe that's just me? I get that gender nonconforming people don't realy know what to choose so that's a reason to get gender nutural bathrooms, but I don't see a problem with anyone using the womans bathroom. Anyone else from the Netherlands who is experiencing this? (pardon my possible mistakes, as you might have guessed English is not my first language)
Lincoln Rose (6 months ago)
I do miss out on a lot of things. I have a routine with specific restrooms, but overall never go too far from my apartment in case of emergency. Guess you could say I travel in a circle. It's safe, and limiting. But going beyond it takes SO MUCH work.
Andrea Johnson (6 months ago)
There are two things I want from people who use my bathrooms: 1. That they're tidy 2. That they wash their hands End.
Herb (14 days ago)
Exactly. U did not need 30 minutes!
Elliot Sampson (4 months ago)
Andrea Johnson and that they use the right one
Seth graham (6 months ago)
And also having separate bathrooms protects women from predatorial men. Imagine a man peeking through the stall at you while you are using the restroom.
Emma E. M. M. Pi (18 days ago)
She made a point about that. It's already illegal, in segregationed bathrooms. If a woman peeked at an another woman in a stall, the latter could issue a judicial follow to this as it is illegal. The same would apply in gender neutral bathrooms.
Seth graham (6 months ago)
If you have male parts you should use the men's room. Men don't belong in the women's no matter how much they feel like a "women". That's really messed up stuff. They should seek professional help because there has something wrong with someone who thinks they aren't what there built to be.
simply마리 222 (1 month ago)
+andrea toninato they prescribe hormones because that makes them money, just like selling any other drug. And if they didn't TRAs would have them shut down.
ferntree1 (6 months ago)
Educate yourself and learn some empathy maybe.
andrea toninato (6 months ago)
guess what? trans people do talk to therapists to get prescribed for hormone therapy because psychologists agree the best way to help them is by transitioning and they get surgeries that give them female genitalia do they are women. Period.
Maple Junkie (6 months ago)
I was once kicked out of a female bathroom for "not being female"... I am nonbinary, HOWEVER I was born female. The fear of trans people in bathrooms has not only cause those who are trans, to have hate forced upon them but also those who don't fit the "correct" female look This also goes for men
Big Bird (1 month ago)
+VAMR1991 Neanderthal!
ferntree1 (1 month ago)
+simply마리 222 Gender roles are created by society. Your internal feeling of gender is not.
simply마리 222 (1 month ago)
+ferntree1 you're comment is so contradictory. By saying you are non binary, you uphold damaging gender roles. If you don't believe in gender roles... Saying that you're non binary is pointless. Please just reconsider the actual reasons anyone would choose that label.
ferntree1 (6 months ago)
+VAMR1991 If you like being female, that's great. I'm really happy you feel at home in that identity. But for those whose internal sense of gender doesn't fit with the physical body they were given (including nonbinary people) transition can be life saving.
VAMR1991 (6 months ago)
ferntree1  I like being female, we should all be proud of our genders - male or female - and celebrate our differences and similarities.
Megalus Doomslayer (7 months ago)
"We have evidence to suggest that transpeople have existed throughout history and all across the world." "In other news, anthropologists have just determined that pottery is a thing."
Blackdogsmatter (16 days ago)
No one said they don exist, but it is (was) rare.
MostlyTorso (7 months ago)
Say good-bye to the urinal, fellas. When building bathrooms for this (seemingly new) multi-gendered population, do you think they're going to include urinals? I doubt it. Let's not forget the REAL tragedy here--The extinction of the urinal! (Just kidding)
VAMR1991 (6 months ago)
Women don't want to see the end of urinals either. Nor do women want to see the end of mirrors in the women's room, which appears to be happening. Most of us just want to keep things the way they are.
VAMR1991 (7 months ago)
What is cisgender? There is no such word.
VAMR1991 (6 months ago)
ferntree1  No it is not.
ferntree1 (6 months ago)
It's a Latin word.
Lynn Jones (6 months ago)
cis is Latin for on the same side of. cisgender means if you are a genetic female and identify as female then you are a cis-female or a genetic male and identity as a male then you are cis-male. Cisgender is a generic term that covers both.
Marsha M (7 months ago)
We need to get this video more attention.
Jon Dansfield (7 months ago)
TED Talks has got worse and worse as it has gone along.
Karin Land (7 months ago)
Meanwhile swedish restrooms are unisex since ages....
Livin Gunk (5 months ago)
Karin Land yes but the Swedes hate men and boys. They do everything in their education system to berate them and blame them.
Crystallized0Rose (6 months ago)
Lucky Swedes.
Desire Baker (7 months ago)
I am a cisgender woman. The amount of times I’ve gone to the men’s bathroom because the line for the ladies room was way too long is more than I can count. None of the men have ever said anything about it, seemingly understanding my need to empty my bladder overrides the use of the “correct” bathroom. I’ve been to plenty of bathrooms that don’t have any gender identification. I’ve seen dads in the ladies room with their daughters, moms in the men’s room with their little boys. Never, ever, have I worried if someone is there to do anything other than pee.
lockandloadlikehell (3 months ago)
Most women don't want men in their bathroom.
Van - (6 months ago)
same here! idc what the sign on the door says... it's a bathroom, I need to use one, I use it
VAMR1991 (6 months ago)
I've never been to the men's bathroom except by accident.
Krista P (8 months ago)
I rarely use public bathrooms. I also don't travel much anymore due to transphobia. I won't even visit family back home because I grew up in Texas.
Mrreciprocat (8 months ago)
Ha! 🙂 Like Kaden, I thought you were saying that YOU had transphobia!
Krista P (8 months ago)
Kaden Drew Transwomen are attacked and killed in public restrooms and in the south. I am a transwoman. I do not want to be assaulted or killed by transphobic bigots.
Kaden Drew (8 months ago)
Krista P ? Wait how does that connect with transphobia
olivia tg (8 months ago)
Fearmongering, If a woman wants to 'stand up' she can use s small funnel designed for her to pee " standing up" Problem solved.
Crimson Wolf (8 months ago)
I knew that it was time to start going into the men's room when I dashed into a woman public restroom not thinking anything of it and a woman at the sink dropped her purse and screamed. Lol Basically said, "oh, so sorry" and ran out acting like I went into the wrong one by accident.
Crimson Wolf (8 months ago)
I don't have a TedX but I am starting a project called, "Ask a Transguy" where anyone can ask me any question in any way without fear of insulting me and I will answer them from my point of view without shaming the person. I'm on Facebook and I live stream on MeetMe almost every day at 10am PST. Getting my YouTube channel and patreon set up soon as well! Come check me out!
Mrreciprocat (8 months ago)
??? 🙄 thank you for that enlightening anecdote. It was truly inspirational. When's YOUR TedX? 🙂
Just Another Human (8 months ago)
You can pee a stall away from me. I’m not transphobic (being a trans woman myself), I just have privacy issues😂😂
Tavia Melody (6 months ago)
That'd be amazing to see. I don't watch many movies but I'd watch that one.
Megalus Doomslayer (7 months ago)
"Ew, a cis. Go over to that one, you cisgendered thing." XD I'd love to see that play out in a comedy movie.
Selena Marilyn (8 months ago)
❤️ Thank you Rachel!
liemuchbro dude (8 months ago)
Trans is a mental illness
Lynn Jones (6 months ago)
You are either uninformed or a troll. Do your research. Trans/GID is NOT a mental illness.
Jamie Metcalfe (7 months ago)
liemuchbro dude Gender Dysphoria**
SarahLJP (9 months ago)
I'm a trans woman. I'm lucky in that I "pass" well enough that I've never had an issue in bathrooms. I'm still a little nervous about going into the women's restroom. There's a part of me that still finds it hard to believe I pass as well as I do. So I worry that someone will notice that I'm trans and it will cause a problem.
Elliot Sampson (4 months ago)
nightwishnemo ur right man
Elliot Sampson (4 months ago)
SarahLJP u have a mental illness buddy
Dianaclone (6 months ago)
Im a trans woman too and i also feel the same. I seem to pass pretty well and one person was even suprised when i told them i was trans. But im still quite terrified in womans bathrooms too
SarahLJP (7 months ago)
Oh, I thought you were talking about me, Sean OToole. I was confused. I thought maybe it's jab at me like "come out as mentially ill" or something. LOL
Sean OToole (7 months ago)
Sorry this reply is for nightwishnemo
6 ! (9 months ago)
Thank you for explaining this in such an easy to understand way :) -a (non binary) trans person who really appreciates you speaking up & educating people
Carroll02 (9 months ago)
Very good talk.
Schorschi (10 months ago)
What a beautiful woman both inside and outside. Amazing what kindness, compassion, and intelligence, both intellectual and emotional, can do: as the video started I cast a glance at her and subconsciously thought "not attracitve"...Then, towards the end of the video, I started to find her irresistibly beautiful and attractive... :-)
lockandloadlikehell (22 days ago)
She's pretty cute
Have you asked men if they want to give up their favourite networking platform? Films and popular culture have shown me that men make most of their friends over a shared urinal experience. Do you want to deprive them of that sense of community and penile brotherhood?
Krista P (8 months ago)
Most men don't talk in the bathroom and the ones that do are considered weird......unless things have changed since I transitioned.
Julia Nymwhen (8 months ago)
There could still be urinals, you could have urinals separate from stalls. Instead of men vs women.
she's deluded
andrea toninato (6 months ago)
so are you if you think trans people don't exist and don't deserve human rights like using bathrooms
HIJABme UP (10 months ago)
i dont even let my son nor daughter go into the restroom with other men or women!
Megalus Doomslayer (7 months ago)
That's different. You don't want someone to "stand their ground".
Ron Farrell (10 months ago)
This is idiotic.
Just Another Human (6 months ago)
You’re a toxic bigot who will die having done nothing but spread hate in the world. No one’s perfect I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Courtney Aker (10 months ago)
Now that is a what a good ally looks like
Ashton James (10 months ago)
A trans persons best friend is a single stall bath, no hard decisions no risk.
Blackdogsmatter (16 days ago)
This has been suggested at schools and trans think that’s discrimination, most of us don’t understand why unless it about attention.
A. Irizarri (10 months ago)
I cried throughout the whole presentation. It feels so good for someone to actually understand.
JishwaisDun withTyjo (10 months ago)
The trans community needs more cishet allies like her👏🏻👌🏻👍🏻
Golden Angele (10 months ago)
I was so into the conversation that I started clapping, before realizing that I was listening to this in headphones, in my bed.
Psychopath
VAMR1991 (6 months ago)
You have a problem.
AC Wilson (11 months ago)
I don't know what world you live in...But, there are people out there who will victimize children and adults if everyone used the same public bathroom. That's why there are separate bathrooms, Rachel. There have to be rules in our society or there would be chaos. Your gender didn't turn out 'the way that your doctor expected.' A person is male or female. That's it. Of course trans people have always existed throughout history--there have always been incredibly confused people...
Kris Storm (7 months ago)
AC Wilson, the creature that's going to do those things is not going to listen to rules, laws or what is and isn't acceptable.
e2sguy (7 months ago)
AC Wilson stop using facts and making sense . Trans species perverts hate that kind of thing
Frank Ciccarelli (10 months ago)
AC Wilson I am against allowing extraterrestrials to use public bathrooms... Otherwise, whatever arrangements people want to make is fine by me. I will say that I would not be comfortable sharing a bathroom with a woman unless she was a girlfriend or a wife... But I don't have a problem with all gender bathrooms.
Amanda Cuckhold (10 months ago)
AC Wilson And mentally ill people...
Amanda Cuckhold (11 months ago)
Wow, over a million fruits in the USA! Amazing!!!
Amanda Cuckhold (9 months ago)
Just Another Human 😂😂😂😂😂
Just Another Human (9 months ago)
Apparently more than over a million bigots too!
Amanda Cuckhold (10 months ago)
D.E.B. B You mean my common sense. Yes. I have sense. 👍
D.E.B. B (10 months ago)
+Amanda You do realize that all you're doing is advertising your ignorance, right?
Imagination Lord (11 months ago)
Brilliant talk. But the main thing is; assault in bathrooms is illegal anyway. If you think assault happens in bathrooms, then you have to accept that cis men could assault cis men/boys in restrooms. If your fear is assault, then your issue should not be with trans people (who as shown are more likely to be assaulted), but with the actual people who are doing the assaulting.
George Anthony (1 month ago)
Imagination Lord when you refer to "the actual people who are doing the assaulting." no doubt you are referring to men(Including ones who pretend they are women)
George Anthony (1 month ago)
+Megalus Doomslayer Men who think they are women pretty much conform to the definition of nuts
Megalus Doomslayer (6 months ago)
You can come to school without a gun. You'd be nuts to detach body parts just to enter a bathroom.
Bethezzda Baenre (11 months ago)
what's funny to me is the hypocrisy of those against bathroom rights for trans people their argument is someone might do something to a child, inevitably these are the same conservative people who are against gun control laws . who when you say someone may shoot up a class room full of children look at you incredulously and say you cant hold the crimes of a few against everyone ... the cult of ignorance America is becoming is so disturbing to me ...
lockandloadlikehell (3 months ago)
Why do you love murder and crime?
lockandloadlikehell (3 months ago)
You support gun control murder zones. You're obviously mentally stable and the rest of your argument should be taken seriously.
SarahLJP (8 months ago)
Frances JAMES, it might seem like trans women using women's bathrooms is a recent occurrence. The fact of the matter is trans women have been using women's bathrooms for many decades without incident. Many cis women have shared a bathroom with a trans woman without realizing it. It's interesting that its only become an issue after marriage equality went nationwide in 2015. In 2016 North Carolina passed HB2.
Narciso de Almeida (11 months ago)
There should be nothing to discuss on genders.
Amanda Weidmann (11 months ago)
take your ignorance and go
SharonAnne N (1 year ago)
* I had the opportunity to produce a film about the demolition of a historic hotel 1983. The demolition crew allow access for me to film wherever I chose. I went into about every nook and cranny of that structure: offices, guest rooms, restaurant, bar, kitchens, and public restrooms. I made a curious observation that has had me pondering since then. The men's room at the executive floor was elaborate: several urinals, several stalls, and several private showers. As for women, the women's restroom was two stalls (neither wide for handicap access) and one crampt sink. Considering this presentation, recalling the year of the construction of that hotel, the lack of up-grades required for the time, it seems obvious that the women's restroom was likely a late remodel to a room used for other purposes in original construction. Whereas the men's restroom was well-designed and considered for a society where there were no women in the business, let alone no women employed at the executive floor. *
Megalus Doomslayer (7 months ago)
Well, when in Scotland act as the Scots would. Your Scotsmanship leveled up that day.
Irene (10 months ago)
At least they eventually(?) had ladies toilets. As recently as 20 years ago I was in a public house in Glasgow that only had a gents toilet. They served drinks to women though. When I asked where the ladies was I couldn't believe there wasn't even one lavvy, and attempted to use the gents which got me ejected from the premises. Defiantly, I stood inside their door recess, dropped my drawers and peed all over their entrance.
Andrea Mendenhall (1 year ago)
So everyone is suooosed to accept the idea of shared restroom because of a minute part of the oooulation. Most restrooms won't even be used by a trans everyday yet anyone can now enter either restroom??
Ellie May (6 months ago)
I don't think you heard what the speaker was saying, otherwise you wouldn't have said this.
Megalus Doomslayer (7 months ago)
KNightNinja87 Woah there! That sounds like a well-reasoned and intelligent approach. What are you trying to do? Spread communism?
KNightNinja87 (10 months ago)
I don't care about what goes on in a restroom, unless a crime is being committed, I just do my business and leave.
Andrea Mendenhall (1 year ago)
Interesting history of restrooms
Megalus Doomslayer (7 months ago)
Prior to the 1900s, women were expected to be mortified by the idea of using a public space for urination and defecation.
Josiah L (1 year ago)
Let's just have all privite bathroom.
kitsaplady (1 year ago)
Some non-truths in that speech.
Becca S. (3 months ago)
@kitsaplady care to explain?
Amanda Cuckhold (8 months ago)
Krista P Look up autogynephilia. These men dressing as women have a fetish and they want us to play along.
rickster348 (1 year ago)
- no, we don't want grown men going into restrooms with little girls.
simply마리 222 (1 month ago)
+thea whitaker often times mothers will take their young sons to the women's with them to make sure they're going safely. So there's that... generally women don't want their small children using the men's bathroom or being alone. For obvious reasons (plus the possibility of kidnapping). ....that's what about little boys....
Josephine Bournes (2 months ago)
Thank you!!!
thea whitaker (2 months ago)
What about the little boys.
AnOpenThought (1 year ago)
thanks for sharing
Ryan M (1 year ago)
You Can Pee At Least Two Stalls Away From Me
Jean Savage (1 year ago)
Dishrace
Shelli Anne Mulka (8 months ago)
Must be something Jean finds dish-gusting I guess !
Amegø64 (10 months ago)
Jean Savage wth is a dish race?
gin beer (2 years ago)
yeah
Mmmarvel the person (2 years ago)
To me it's pretty simple. If you identify as a woman (but your plumbing is male) and you wear dresses and do your makeup and hair as a woman then don't speak but go into the female restroom, into a stall and do your business. Ditto someone who identifies as a male (but your plumbing is female) and you wear men's clothes and your hair is short, the go into the men's restroom into a stall and do your business. Bottom line, don't make a big deal out of the fact that you are trans and life goes on. If you ID as a female but your plumbing is male (and vice-versa) then either make the gender ID complete (with appearance) but stop making it a big deal.
Sini Keinänen (5 months ago)
so according to this logic, because I, a cis-girl, have short hair and you might mistake me for a guy, I should use the men's toilet? nope
Cynthia Cantrell (10 months ago)
What makes you think trans people haven't been doing exactly that for decades?
Helen Barton (1 year ago)
Mmmarvel the person Trans people aren't making it a big deal, conservatives are.

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